What do you really mean?

This quarter in bible class, I am studying about communication and relationships. Recently we were discussing intentions and how they effect communication. For example: Bryan made a statement that his coworker was the only person that he could count on. The its all about me part of me wanted to angrily remind him of all the things and times that I have been there for him. How do you think that would have gone. Luckily for once, I was slow to speak and he continued by saying that it feels like most of his coworkers are not very supportive or helpful.

Here is a copy of our weekly email that Amanda sends out, hope you enjoy and learn from it.
Hope you are having a great week. As we continue our study of wisdom and how that applies to handling the conflict in our lives, below are a few verses for thought. People with understanding control their anger; a hot temper shows great foolishness. Prov. 14:29Short-tempered people do foolish things, and schemers are hated. Prov. 14:17Whoever loves a pure heart and gracious speech will have the king for a friend. Prov. 22:11Patience can persuade a prince and soft words can break bones. Prov. 15:15. As a reminder from Sunday’s class – remember to separate the intentions from the consequences. Don’t assume you understand the intentions of the other person. If someone is making judgments about your intentions, set aside the defensiveness for a minute and deal with their hurt feelings. If you find yourself saying things like “You shouldn't feel that way.”, “Don’t be ridiculous.”, “That doesn’t make any sense.”, “That isn’t logical.” – then be aware that you are making the situation worse by NOT listening and are insulting them at the same time. Once you deal with the existing feelings, then go back and explain your intentions. If the conversation occurs in THAT order, you have communication love and respect by caring about their feelings and clarified your own intentions which should clear up the misunderstanding. HOWEVER, be aware that you may have several reasons for taking any particular action – and not all of them noble. Be able to face ALL the truth your own actions. “I was only joking!” Hmmmmmm, really? Are you SURE that no part of the joke had any merit to it at all? Nothing about that joke is true in your eyes? I’m not buying it and neither will anybody else. This Sunday, we will talk about blame and contribution as we continue our study on Proverbs and conflict.